Lily: Private eye
by crafordbrian17
Summary: Just a One-shot fantasy of Lily as a private eye trying to solve the case of "Big B."


**[We open up to Lily wearing a light brown trench coat and a matching bowler hat, sitting in an office looking at the newspaper. Also, everything is in black and white.]**

(Lily's POV)

It was 7:15 on a Friday night. I was working downtown, Mostly small jobs. But this time I was on something really big. There was a newspaper article that was titled " **Arguments caused by bad slippers** ", another said " **busted pumps everywhere"** , the third one said " **counterfeit shoe knuckles** ". There was even a sale on waistbands down at Flips fuel and go.

I was just about to hit the bricks and then…..(heard 3 knocks at the door)...she walked in.

She had large and puffy blonde hair, wearing a blue knee-length dress, a matching 1920's felt hat, and a pair of blue and white floral pumps. (You know, the ones that used to drive me crazy)

Lori: "hello Lily."

Lily: "What are you doing here Lori?"

Lori: "I missed you."

Lily:(walks over to a bookshelf) "Like you missed your last haircut"(looks through one of the shelves)

Lori: (scoffs) "You don't half to play poker with me."

Lily: "well you always were the wild card,(faces Lori again) what do ya want?"

Lori: "I need you to find my sister Leni, she's been kidnapped."(bursts into tears)

Lily: "quit the water works will ya, where did you last see her?"

Lori: "she was working for Big B."

A flash of lightning and thunder could be heard through the window after she said that.

Lily: "Big B ya say?"

Then Lori tossed a newspaper article onto Lily's desk that was titled " **Big B opens night club."** Underneath the title was a picture of Bobby dressed in the same trench coat and bowler hat as Lily, but they were both black with matching shiny leather shoes.

Lori: "She worked at his club, "the Carbacabana"

* * *

Then we open up to the inside of the Carbacabana building where we see Ronnie Anne dressed as a Hawaiian dancer with a bunch of fruit on her head. On her left side were 3 back up singers. One played a ukulele, one played the bongos, and the last one played the maracas. Lily was sitting at one of the tarped tables watching the show in silence while Lisa came up dressed as a waitress.

Lisa: "More latae madam?"

Lily: "thanks ma'am."

A few minutes after Lisa walked away, Ronnie Anne walked down from the stage and walked up to Lily's table.

Ronnie Anne: "You wanted to see me senior?"

Lily: "I'm looking for Leni, you seen her?"

Ronnie Anne: "Leni, (spits) that rank top, I don't remember."

Lily: "Well maybe this will help you remember."(drops a blue-green floral pump on the table)

Ronnie Anne: "hmm, maybe."

Lily just rolled her eyes and dropped another matching floral pump on the table along with a pair of sunglasses. The sound effect of a tiger could be heard while the sunglasses glistened in lights.

Ronnie Anne: "ohh, now I remember."

Then Ronnie Anne hopped onto a seat right next to Lily, put her arm around her shoulder, and soon explained everything.

Ronnie Anne: "I saw her a couple of days ago with Big B."

Lily: "Where did they go?"

Ronnie Anne: "I don't know, and I don't care. But she did smell salty, like the ocean."

Then Lincoln irritatedly walked up wearing a white tuxedo and a matching trilby hat.

Lincoln: "Hey, this guy bugging you?"

Ronnie Anne: "Not yet, but a girl can hold."

Then Blaine (from dream boat) came up wearing a black trilby hat.

Blaine: "Well he's bugging me!"

When Lincoln and Blaine took Lily out in the alley, Blaine held Lily up in front of Lincoln's face.

Lily: "hello Lincoln, where'd you get the big boy?"

Then Lincoln pointed a corkscrew in front of Lily.

Lincoln: "you're a nosy fella kitty cat huh. You wanna know what happens to guys who poke their noses in the wrong places?"

Lily: "I don't know, free bubble bath?"

Lincoln: "No, they lose them."

Then Lincoln Slashed the end of the corkscrew across her left cheek.

Lincoln: "Next time it's the diaper, understand?"

Then Blaine dropped Lily and they both left her out in the alley.

* * *

(Lily's POV)

I was down a cheek, but I was still okay.

Then Lily walked down the alley with a bandaid on her cheek until she came apon Clyde dressed as a garbage man dumping out a bunch of busted shoe.

Lily: "Hey Clyde, what's the word on the street?"

Clyde: "I don't know, they got me working in the alley's dumping out all these pumps"

Lily: "pumps you say?"

Clyde: "Yeah, it's odd though."

Lily: "odd?"

Clyde: "Yeah, they all have this smell."

Lily: "smell."

Clyde: "they smelled salty."

Lily: "Salty?"

Clyde: "like the ocean."

Lily: "ocean?"

Clyde: "I haven't smelled that since I worked down at the docks."

Lily: "rocks?"

Clyde: "docks."

Lily: "Duck's?"

Clyde: "Docks!"

Lily: "The docks! Thanks Clyde."(runs off back down the alley)

Clyde: "You're welcome Lily."

* * *

After we open up to a misty dockyard where a bunch of workers are loading a barge, Lily pokes her head out from behind a ginormous crate and gasped at what she saw on the boat.

Lily: "Leni!"

There were Lincoln and Blaine again, but Blaine was standing next to Leni holding his hands behind his back.

Leni had long pale blonde hair, ocean green floral pumps, and wore the same dress and hat that Lori was wearing earlier. She was tied to a chair while sitting down with tape over her mouth.

While nobody was looking, Lily walked up a ramp leading onto the boat wearing a crate over herself. But she didn't notice that when she passed luan, Lynn, and Lucy each wearing burglar caps playing go fish, they spotted her.

Lynn looked up and whistles towards the guy controlling the crane, Then the crane guy saw the crate that Lily was under. Once Lily was only 3 yards away from Leni, the crane lifted the crate off of Lily. Soon Lily found herself surrounded by Lincoln, luan, Lynn, Lucy, Blaine, and a few dockside workers.

Lily: "uh oh."

Then Big B (Bobby) walked up in front of Leni with an evil smirk on his face.

Lily: "Big B, wait until I tell the DA."

Bobby: "You ain't telling the DA nothing."

Then Lily got hooked by the crane from her leg, soon she was hanging upside down from the cranes hook.

Lily: "What, I'm being Shanghaied!"

Then Lori came running up next to Big B.

Lori: "No!"

Lily: "Lori, you double crossing double crosser!"

Lori: "I had no choice, it was the only way to save my sister!"

Lily: "we always did the right thing, just the wrong way."

Then the crane began hanging Lily above the ocean water beside the boat.

Lori: "No!"

But before they could drop her in, Luna, Lola, and Lana showed up on the dock dressed as police officers with half circulated sunglasses along with the other police.

Luna: "Looks like we finally caught you Big B."

Bobby: "Aww no, the po-po."

As Luna, the twins, and the police ran towards the ramp, luan, Lynn, and Lucy tossed a bunch of oil drums towards them. The police officers got knocked out, but Luna and the twins stayed standing.

Lori looked up towards Lily in a panic, then she ran up to a peddle behind the crane and stepped on it forcing the crane to drop Lily on the surface of the barge.

As Lily spotted Big B trying to escape, she tossed her hat towards another cranes hook chain slicing it in 2. The crate that the crane was carrying literally dropped on Big B and blew up revealing the shoes inside.

Lily: "AHA, just what I thought, counterfeit pumps!"

Luna: "You Led us right to him Lily,(turns to the twins) take him away bro's."

* * *

While Luna, the twins, and the police took Big B away, Lily turned towards Lori.

Lily: "Fine mess you got me into Lori."

Lori: "I'm not bad Lily, I just walk that way,(walks past Lily) now let's continue where we left off."

But as Lori turned around, she watched as Lily walked around the corner and into the mist.

 **The end.**


End file.
